Sasuke's Poetry Club
by EmberElf
Summary: When things go astray in a poetry club, who will take the stage and keep the crazy fangirls and other Naruto characters entertained?
1. Sasuke's Poetry Club

Comments would be very helpful so I'm not just talking to myself here (not like I don't already...lol).

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto... but I'm working on a couple characters... -

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Sasuke's Poetry Club

Chapter One

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The dark room was filled with the sound of fangirls snapping their fingers as the one and only, Sasuke Uchiha, entered the stage from the side. He was dressed in his black rubber suit, as always, and held up a hand to silence the fangirls.

The stage lights were dimly turned on, so the audience could see the poet's face, but just barely.

"Thanks for coming out to 'Sasuke's Poetry Club today... angst..." Sasuke said. On the word 'angst', Sasuek closed his eyes, put his hand on his forehead and nonchalantly turned slightly to the side.

"I've been... angst... working on this poem for awhile... angst..." Sasuke snapped his fingers and a base started playing in a fashion that most poetry clubs would have.

"My name is Sasuke... angst.. I'm an avenger... angst..." The poet started. The fangirls started snapping again, even though Sasuke wasn't finished.

"My dream... angst... is to kill my brother... angst... So I can... angst... avenge my family...angst" All the fangirls started nodding to the beat.

"I have a bad sense of fashion... angst... And my hair is so long... angst... that I'm mistaken as my mother... angst..."

At that moment, the 'Sasuke Haters' club knocked down the door and started snapping wildly. The Sasuke fangirls menacingly glared at the 'Sasuke Haters' as they sat down. Sasuke, seeing his new crowd, took the moment and went on with his poem.

"Angst... I love Oro-sama... angst... And Kabuto-baka is jealous... angst... because Oro-sama left him for me... angst..."

The 'Sasuke Haters' snapped along with Oro-sama, who just happened to have slipped in as a fangirl. But... Kabuto, although belonging to the 'Sasuke Haters' didn't snap at the last comment, because he didn't lke to talk about his rocky relationship with Oro-sama. Poor Kabuto...

"Angst..." Sasuke finished. The snaps that errupted from both the fangirls and the 'Sauske Haters', but abruptly stopped as the door was kicked down by the one and only, Anko-san!

"Nooo!" cried the myseriously pixelated janitor in a computer altered voice. "I just finished putting that door back up! No thanks to the 'Sauske Haters'...

"Don't be hatin' the 'Sasuke Haters'!" cried a 'Sasuke Hater' member.

"Who the heck are you?" Sasuke asked from the stage, squinting at the oddly shadowy and pixelated figure. "Lights!" yelled Sasuke. The lights snapped on, but it didn't help identify the he/she.

"Well, I uh, well..." he/she stuttered. "I'M **NOT** THE AKATSUKI LEADER! DON'T COME LOOKING FOR ME!"

An awkward silence settled over the 'Sasuke's Poetry Club'.

"Okay..." Anko-san started, breaking the scilence. "Sasuke-bozu! What are you doing in Konoha?" she said, pointing her finger at the angsty fellow.

"What does it look like Anko-san?" Sasuke said with a tinge of attitude. "I'm _obviously _having a poetry club. Now get out, or I'll call security on you!"

"I dare you ," Anko-san said menacingly.

"SECURITY!" screeched Sasuke.

Another awkward scilence settled in the air.

"Oi, I forgot to hire security..." Sasuke muttered, using a little colorful language after.

Anko-san made her way through the tightly packed room.

"You _have_ to be breaking a fire code, I swear..." the already mad Anko-san muttered.

Finally, she made it to the stage, where Sasuke, dumbfoundedly stood.

"Oi?" he started weakly. "I'm sorry?" Anko- san didn't respond, and just grabbed his ear and dragged him off the stage.

"Ow, ow, ow, ow! OW!" Sasuke yelled. "That's my good side!"

Then, a fangirl stood up.

"Don't you **_dare_** hurt my Sasuke-kun!"

"You're Sasuke-kun? I don't think so!" yelled another fangirl. "He's **_MINE_**!"

And, well, the bickering continued for awhile, and the fangirls were jsut about to attack each other (how violent!), when someone stepped onto the stage.

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Nyahahah! Who stepped on the stage? Find out in the next chapter (coming soon!)!


	2. A Preformance by Deidara

Eh-heh, heh... I'm sorry this took so long to write! I could say that in some freak accident my computer grew legs and walked off... but... I just procrastinated for a looonnnggg time... So... without further delay... Sasuke's Poetry Club – A Preformance By Deidara!!

Oh, and I know that Deidara's hands don't REALLY talk, more or less tell jokes, but still!

-Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto-

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The bickering of the Sasuke fangirls went on for sometime, but suddenly stopped when someone stepped onto the stage.

"Deidara!!" screamed Sasuke Haters (the fact that Deidara belonged to the Sasuke Haters could have had something to do with it.), the fangirls, though, were questioning where their 'Sasuke Darling' was.

"Okay, okay... I'm no good at poetry... un... But these two wanted to try... un..." the Akatsuki member explained, obviously in distress. Deidara just stuck out his hands, and turned his head away from the crowd.

"Hey! Hey! We need another microphone over here!!" Deidara's right hand ordered.

"Yeah! Another michrophone!" agreed the left. Once another microphone was brought up by a staff member of Sasuke's Poetry Club, the right hand began to speak.

"Don't listen to that maiden in distress!" it said. "She knows that we aren't good at poetry, and today we're just going to try out some of our new blonde jokes!"

"Hey!" cried out the blonde ninja.

"Oh just shut up! Or you'll find that your face won't be the same when you wake up in the morning!" The left hand threatened. Deidara shut his mouth in horror.

"Now... where were we? Oh yeah, BLONDE jokes." Deidara whimpered, mostly because of the fact he knew that his hands were directing the jokes towards him.

"So, a blonde walks into a bar and says 'Ow!'," laughed the left hand. The right hand burst out laughing, and together the right and left hand were laughing in unison. But, then they realized that the whole room was silent.

"What's wrong with you people?" asked the right hand. "Don't you appreciate good jokes?"

"This isn't a stand-up comedy club! It's a POETRY club!! And that barely made ANY sense!! It's insensitive to blondes to tell blonde jokes!!" shouted a fangirl.

The left hand whistled quietly. "Tough crowd, tough crowd..."

"Come on Deidara, let's go wallow in self pity, and leave this humorless people to despair when they figure out what they're missing," the commanding right hand ordered.

"Umm... okay, I guess, un..." the Missing Nin said, as he walked of the stage.

"Deidi-chan!!" called a Sasuke Hater.

After that, all the Sasuke Haters started to moan loudly, because their Deidi-chan was shunned off to the side.

When all seemed hopeless, and everyone was about to leave, a bright flash came from the stage. But since the Poetry Club didn't have any bright lights, it left many puzzling, as they covered their eyes from the intese light.

"Agh! My eyes!! I've been blinded!!" shouted micelaneous people from the audience.

"Heh, heh. Sorry 'bout that yo... My bling-bling must be too shineh for yah. Dattebayo!!"

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I'm guessing that you know who this is, but if you don't... well... Yeah...

But! Keep reading! The next chapter will come sooner than this one did!!

I'm sooooo sorry!!


	3. A Rap or Two From Naruto

Okay, I know we're all not CRAZILY obsessed with Naruto... But it made a good story... And since Sasuke 'belonged' to the Fangirls, and Deidara to the Sasuke Haters, I thought everyone should share (For once...)! WEE!! So.. without further delay... Sasuke's Poetry Club- A Rap or Two from Naruto! (Oh, and I really don't see Naruto as a rapper, but still! And... I can't rap, so neither can Naruto.)

-Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto-

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"Oi! Naruto-kun!" shouted the audience.

Loved by all, the one and only, Naruto, was on the stage, with saggy pants and shirt, and with a large amount of bling-bling around his neck, that only one could wonder why his neck didn't snap.

"Yah! Word up yo! Dattebayo!!" the blonde shouted.

"WOO!!" screamed the obsessed crowd.

"My name is Naruto Uzumak-ay, and I don't drink any sake! Dattebayo!"

The Sasuke Haters and Fangirls jumped up and down, waving their arms in the air.

"Mosh Pit!!" shouted Naruto, and jumped into the mass of people. Just as he had hoped they would, he was caught in the crowd's arms. For awhile, Naruto was body-surfing, but then, the lights were flicked on. The stunned Fangirls and Sasuke Haters dropped Naruto, and shrieked as they tried to cover their eyes.

"Aiyish... Dattebayo..." moaned the dropped ninja. "I'm okay... I think... Ugh... Dattebayo... Don't worry about me! I just was dropped on the head and may have a slight concusion! No problem though... Just ignore me! See what I care!"

It seemed as if the ninja's fall on the head had knocked him out of his gangsta like state.

"Please, please!" said a voice, in a smooth talking manner. "Don't stop you're youth rally on account of my presence! But... While you're all staring... Look at my manly features! And become envious!"

"Yosh!!"

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Okay... This one is pretty short, I WOULD have done more rapping, but... I suck at rapping... so... Yosh! The next chapter shall be coming soon! Please keep reading and commenting!! I luv comments!!

-DDP-


	4. An Assembly of Youth

Aiyish!! I wrote this while listening to the same song over and over and over again... Because when it stopped, I just hit play again... I have an obsession with the song... But, that has nothing to do with the story! So I'll just get on with it! Oh, and for most of the chapter, Gai-sensei and Lee are just talking, they really don't do much of anything special, except make the moment more and more awkward!!

-Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto-

---------------------- Sasuke's Poetry Club – An Assembly of Youth ------------------

"Please, please!" said a voice, in a smooth talking manner. "Don't stop you're youth rally on account of my presence! But... While you're all staring... Look at my manly features! And become envious!"

"Yosh!!"

The audience of fangirls and haters turned to look at the two ninjas dressed in green leotards.

"Umm..." ventured a fangirl, breaking the silence, but was interupted.

"Lee! What are you doing here?" asked the one and only, Gai.

"Gai-sensei! I followed you here! On a quest to find out if the rumors were true!" answered the bushy-browed student.

"Rumors?"

"Yeah, Kakashi-sama told me that you were colorblind!!"

"Colorblind?!? I'm not colorblind!" shouted the youthful sensei. "Curse you Kakashi, you're so cool! Tricking my own student!" Gai clenched his fists. "Lee... don't ever listen to Kakashi again, he's a sly one, he is. He'll trick you!"

"But, Gai-sensei..."

"Forget about it Lee, he's my rival, and you're my student, and I can't bear to let him take you away from me!"

"Gai-sensei!"

"Lee!"

"Gai-sensei!"

"Lee!"

"Gai-SENSEI!!"

"LEE!"

"Awkward..." muttered a few voices.

"Oh, sorry!" Gai said as he looked at the audience. "It's just..." he wiped away tears from his eyes. "You're all so youthful and wonderful!! Go on, Lee and I won't stop your youth assembly from proceeding onward. Let's go Lee!"

"Yosh, Gai-sensei!"

"Now, let's run into the sunset, but don't mess up your hair!" ordered Gai.

The two ninja left, and the fangirls and haters stood for a moment, wondering what to do now. Then, luckily, when everyone was about to leave, a pupeteer stepped on to the stage.

"What's going on here?" he asked, bored.

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Well, I think I over did it on the teacher/ student relationship... Now don't get all gross, I don't like yaoi, so I don't think of them like that! Sikko!

The next chapter will be coming soon, so until then... Happy New Year and Happy Birthday Gai-sensei!! (January 1st if you hadn't guessed/ knew...)


	5. A Puppeteer's Performance

Yay! It's the fifth chapter!! Anyway... Sasori starts randomly talking about a CD, and later about how he had to pay off Itachi's CD player. I would suggest reading Battle of the Bands Naruto Style by SerenityFey (and me, but it's on her account!), because I used some of the material from it! Yes!

Disclaimer – I don't own Naruto!!

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"What's going on here?" he asked, bored.

The Fangirls and Haters looked at the stage in surprise. Then, they all screamed when they saw who it was.

"S- Sasori-danna?!" a Fangirl asked when she gained control of herself.

"In the flesh!" Sasori flashed a smile, which faded quickly. "Or... not, if you want to get all technical..."

"Umm... Aren't you supposed to be... you know... dead?" asked a Hater.

"It's called acting, children!!" Sasori answered, upset. The Fangirls and Haters just stared at him.

"So... you're not dead? Then why do we all hate Sakura so much?" asked a Fangirl.

"For many reasons, not all related to her killing Sasori-danna, and even a few that shouldn't be said out loud..." answered a Hater.

"Anyway..." started Sasori. "I heard all the comotion, and then saw what this place was called... So, I decided that if Sasuke's poetry totally sucked and he decided that he would start singing some of his songs form _Screechy Sounds from Sasuke_..." Sasori cringed at the thought of Sasuke's hit CD in the Sound Village. "...I would totally beat the living crap out of him..."

"My hero!" sang out a Hater.

Sasori was too busy in his own thoughts to hear her. "Damn, that took me so long to pay off Itachi's CD player... I mean, he TOLD me to break it! How was I supposed to know what he meant?! The CD or the CD player?! NYAH!"

"Calm down, Sasori-danna!" called out a Hater.

"Oh, sorry...Now what?" asked Sasori.

"Umm... Well, every since Sasuke left, this really hasn't been a poetry club... So, if you have any talents that you'd like to share or anything..." explained a Fangirl.

"Oh! I have a talent!! I'm a ventriloquist!!" the puppeteer said excitedly. "I will show you! But... I need a stool..." A stage crew member quickly brought up a stool. Sasori sat down with his puppet that seemed to appear out of no where.

"Kisame is a blue shark man, but what about the water? He doesn't need to live in water to live like a normal shark would! But then again, he is partially a man..." started the puppet.

The crowd listened carefully to what the puppet was saying, and also watching if the puppeteers mouth was moving, which it wasn't.

"Oh, and don't get me started about spoiled weasel-man... Or the man-eating plant! What about Leader-sama? Why is he always so shadowy and pixelated in public? And two other members in the Akatsuki are always like that too! Oh, and that Deidara, the one who looks like a girl? And Hidan, the one who ALWAYS has to pray before he kills someone! It's like it's his religion or something! And Tobi... Tobi, Tobi... Deidara was right to try and suffocate him so much... Because... TOBI IS A RETARD!!!"

Sasori still kept a straight face. Then everyone's attention was brought towards the back of the room.

"Leader-sama!" Sasori jumped out of his chair.

"**_Sasori..._**" the Leader, who was coincidentally shadowy and pixelated with his voice digitally altered, warned.

"You were a wonderful audience! Thank you and goodnight!" Sasori said quickly and ran off the stage.

"**_Get back here!_**" yelled Leader, chasing after him.

It was quiet for a minute, then the room was filled with bickering of two kunoichi.

"See! I told you I didn't kill him!"

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Yay! I luv Sasori-danna!! Oh, and I do have to say that I luv almost every single Akatsuki member! Hidan and Zetsu are kinda creepy, but are awesome!! BUT... I do agree... Tobi is a retard!!


	6. Kunoichi Rumble

It's been so very long since I've touched this story. I have a bit of free time though, so I might start picking it back up again. Anyways... This is a chapter I wrote back in 8th grade. xD I'm in 10th now. So I promise that any chapters farther than this will be written better and have more... substance. :D

Anyway, enjoy the last "original" chapter. Original as in, "I wrote this when I was 13 years old and sucked" to current style "I'm 15, know better, know more about Naruto and actually understand the concept of grammar." So yah.

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto because I am not Masashi Kishimoto.

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"See! I told you I didn't kill him!" yelled the annoying pink haired ninja.

The eyes of the audience drifted towards the fighting kunoichi.

"Okay, okay… I believe you Sakura," replied the blonde.

"It's called ACTING, Ino… Pig!" Sakura said spastically.

"Narr! Back off Bill Board Brow!" Ino shot back.

"CHA!" yelled the abnormally large- foreheaded ninja, as she lunged towards Ino.

"Sakura! You perverted old man!" shouted Ino, kicking Sakura off of her.

"Eww! Ino! You sikko! Don't take it like that, it's just that YOU are stupid, and YOU are dumb, and YOU are… are… STUPID!"

"Eh? You said stupid twice, stupid,"

"Damn it Ino…"

"Whoa, Sakura, language! Language!"

If you are at all interested in the audience, they were just watching the two of them fight because, well, they were quite entertaining, and even though alot of them disliked either Sakura or Ino, it was quite entertaining to them to see their least favorite character bicker unstoppably.

Finally, the two kunoichi noticed that they were being watched. It took them awhile, but they found out.

"Umm… Hi," started Sakura, flushing a bright red.

"Yeah… h- how long h- have you p- people been s-standing there?" Ino stuttered.

"A couple hours," replied an audience member, glancing at the clock on the wall.

"Oh… Hey! We haven't even been here that long!" realized Sakura.

"Well… you peoples are actually the 6th act to come here. I mean, of course this may be called 'Sasuke's Poetry Club' but…" explained an audience member.

"Sasuke-kun?" said the two girls together.

"Umm… yeah, Anko-sama came and took him to jail or something along those lines…" said a Hater.

"To the Konoha Jail House!" shouted Ino.

"To the Konoha Jail House!" repeated Sakura.

"Hope your huge forehead doesn't slow you down, Sakura!"

"Doubted, Ino Pig!"

"I'm coming to save you, Saskuke-kun!" Ino yelled.

"No! Me, Sasuke-kun!" Sakura repeated.

"Narr!"

"Narr!"

And then… the two of them ran out the door, as if racing each other to the Jail House.

"What... is going on here...?"

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Haha! Hope you enjoyed that 8th grade quality story. It'll be better in the long run... So I'll get some ideas down.

Yay~


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